To the Ignorant bloggers,
I am sick of strong willed children being bashed, and parents of them being pitied. I just read your article on hosted by Scarymommy titled, “8 truths of Parents who are raising a strong willed child”. The featured image is that of a little girl in tears crying. Nice work.
Im pregnant, and the mother of a very strong willed, 6 year old girl. Stop it.
Your article got me fired up enough to post on my fitness studio blog website that has nothing to do with parenting. In defensive of these strong willed monsters, please continue reading my responses to your specific sections:
“Having a strong will and fierce determination is akin to being an extrovert, having blue eyes, or a propensity for math—either you have it or you don’t. When your child has this trait, you know. Oh sweet lord, do you know. It is usually observable very early on, and parents know because their child is constantly on, constantly challenging the status quo, and constantly testing boundaries in any and every situation in attempt to gather and learn information about their world. When you are a parent of one of these children, it is freaking exhausting.”
You either do not have ANY children, or a completely sad and poor outlook on the entirety of what parenting actually is. You are correct in that it is completely observable very early on. My strong willed child is always ON, constantly challenging status quo, and testing boundaries. When you are a parent, its exhausting, period.
1. Some days you are ready to crawl into the fetal position before you’ve had your first cup of coffee.
There is this thing called “Monday” and I’m pretty sure half of the population, with or without kids feels this way every morning. Kids wake up early, strong willed or not. You’re lucky if they sleep past 7am. Welcome to parenting.
2. Your child isn’t who you thought they’d be.
Isn’t who you thought they’d be?! Is that the point of having children? Making them who you want them to be? No. How about the fact your child has 10 fingers, 10 toes, can breath on their own, and has a clean bill of health. I want my children to be who THEY want to be, not what I hoped they would be.
3. You child has forced you into emotional growth.
ALL children you bring into this world force you into emotional growth, ready or not. I’m sorry if parenting is harder than you thought and you have to use your “strong willed” child as a scape goat for “hating adulting”.
4. You have felt like a bad parent many days.
All parents feel like bad parents at some point and constantly question themselves on what they’re doing wrong. She listens and respects me as a parent but is still herself. Do I really want a child that is submissive and complies? Parents have ups and downs- the ups outweigh the downs far more than a blog post could ever explain.
5. You and your spouse jokingly debate about which one of you passed on the genes.
You better believe I am taking credit for it. She is decisive, bold, daring, fearless, and not afraid to stand up for herself. She raises her hand first, is excited to participate, and knows exactly what she wants. She attempts to negotiate, is out going, leads, and is kind to everyone.
6. You’ve been told by others that ‘a good spanking and some discipline would straighten them up!’
If someone is telling you that you need to spank your child, then you should probably stop blogging about how awful it is to have a strong willed child, and figure your parent crap out. Your child behaving badly in public is because you allow it to happen, not because they’re strong willed. My child is strong willed, but knows her limits and respects me.
7. You’ve worked damn hard to parent your child.
Yeap. Parenting is HARD, and you need to work hard at it if you want to raise decent human beings. Duh.
8. You know your kid is going to do epic things in this world.
Even if my child wasn’t strong willed, I know they will do epic things, and if not to the world, they have done something EPIC to me.
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